The Babble

A bunch of rambling starts now: It’s Friday snitches.

* When I grow up, I want to be a meteorologist (fancy name for someone who tells the weather). It’s the only profession I know of (well maybe except lawyer), where you can lie and still have a job the next day. As a consultant, I can’t do it. I can’t lie. I won’t get paid. Doesn’t work. Hoes can’t do it. Pimps want their money. Doesn’t work. Weather person?!? They get away with it and all they have to do is blame it on the "models". While I wasn’t looking forward to shoveling, I was thinking there would be at least some inches of snow. READ MY LIPS (virtually) – NOT COMPLAINING AT ALL but when a brother is waiting in line at Costco for gas like it’s the last apocalypse, I’m thinking this "Snowquester" is real. Nope. Dud. Enough of winter, let’s bring on spring away. Tired of wearing overcoats and puffy jackets. Ready for light coats and blazers. (although I’m not ready for the ladies to give up the knee high boots….hi ladies *pimp winks*)

* Here’s a life lesson I posted on Twitter yesterday: You can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. I tried helping someone as much as I could throughout a bunch of life situations. As a friend, you never want to see another friend go through it but yet lately this person has been……rude (that’s the best way to describe it) and indirect. It’s at the point now where I just don’t communicate with them and in fact, I’m distancing myself from them. Too much in life to deal with bullshuckas.

* Lion’s are in the news. First the zoo helper gets mauled. Then this http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/sex-romp-turns-deadly-lion-attacks-article-1.1281125. While I would love to have sex in the woods, the thought that a lion could roll up on me while a woman is riding me is f*cking crazy. (No pun intended) It’s an instant mood killer. I would be too worried about what happened, especially if I’m on top. I mean I’ve got questions man. I just can’t……Then imagine a dude running up on your car butt ass naked with just a condom on. This story is C-R-A-Z-Y! I would think dude is high on bath salts. I’d probably keep driving like most of the other drivers did. And is anyone else wondering how the condom stayed on?!?!

* Read that last one over again. Lions son!

* It’s a damn shame that in a workplace full of adults, the bathroom is a freakin’ mess. You gotta wonder how people live at home. The first thing that teach you as a boy is to point and shoot. Then shake. But for some dudes, their aim is way off. It’s nasty. You know I think I need a post on bathroom etiquette.

* This Harlem Shake shit is outta control (although the Miami Heat one is funny). For one, it sounds nothing like music that would come out of Harlem and for two, I don’t even get what their shaking. Me old.

* But I do like that Will.i.am and Britney (bitch) song…although I don’t like the fact that I have to hit the mute button on bitch when kids are in the car. Can’t have them walking around saying "britney bitch!" at school.That would revoke my parent of the year award.

* Chris Brown and Lil’ Wayne need their asses whooped.

* Pocket knives on a plane now. I’m gonna need the TSA to think really carefully about that one.

* Yesterday I joined a gym (again). I hadn’t joined one in over two years since I had been working out at home. Now I’m back and actually looking forward to it (and the phatties on the treadmill….*waves*…hi ladies *pimp wink*…). I can’t lie, lately I’ve been obsessed with muscles. It’s crazy. I’m on bodybuilding websites and everything. And seeing women cut up (not overdoing it- like a Jeanette Jenkins body) I’m like DAMMMMN son.

End Babble.

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