Random Babbles

Those download counters are NEVER right. They tell you 20 minutes and in reality, it’s like 45 minutes. If I’m staring at the bar, it creeps. If I leave and come back, I swear the thing hasn’t moved.

All that scheming I did for the iPhone 5 and I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. I have an offer sitting in my inbox for more than what I paid for my iPhone 4S – yet me no budge.

I’ve never seen a long line for the iPhones in any black neighborhoods……

Then again, there’s no Apple stores in black neighborhoods anyway.

Hey, do peoples still use whiteout?

How about erasable ink pens? Do they make those? Remember those? Am I dating myself?…Probably.

30 is the new 20. 40 is the new 30. Does that repeat itself? Do people say 70 is the new 60?  Is death the new birth?When does it end?

So I’m watching this show and this dude apparently has 18 kids. Yo…like…..I don’t….like…..son….damn……

Tamar Braxton gets on my nerves………when wifey turns it on, I roll out. Can’t deal.

That’s actually what I do for most reality shows although I can stomach the T.I joint (unless Tiny talks a lot – then it’s a wrap)

Politics……oh Willard. I’m just not ready to go there just yet. But next month, IT’S ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Touche

Me: I wonder if there’s a way I can cop that new iPhone.

Her: Why? (with confused and that “you’ve got to be kidding me look*). You just got one in December

Me: Well it’s not the iPhone 5.

Her: But your phone isn’t even a year old.

Me: If I can just figure out a way to break even, I’m good. But at the worse case, if I act quick, I’ll have to pay less than the retail.

Her: You’d go through all of that for a phone. Are you serious? You can’t be serious.

Me: Hey, remember last year, we were in the mall and you bought those boots to wear to [insert friends name] birthday party and then we get to Nordstroms and you see another pair and you buy those too. How much did that cost?

Her: *silence*

Me: And then…remember that time you bought the Michael Kors purse and then you went back and got the other one….ummm….ummm…what’s called again…..the umm….

(now I know the name, I’m doing this on purpose)

Her: It was a damn Dooney & Burke….arggghh…..go get your iPhone!

I laid back on the couch, put my feet up, drank my sweet tea and thought to myself…..Touche….

Boomin’

This evening, I left a restaurant for a post-work business meeting and as I walked to the parking lot, I noticed a dude – maybe early to mid 20’s – get in his car. He dropped all of his windows and started blasting some Meek Mill – I’m a boss. He chilled for  a sec then backed out of the parking spot. As he turned the corner, he saw some young ladies walkin’ his way. I know. I saw them too. Same age if I was to guess by the clothing. All of a sudden, I heard him hit the rewind button on the song like 2-3 times right as he was pullin’ closer to the ladies.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh……..Yup. I used to do the same thing…..back in the 90’s.

I remember when I got my first car – an ’86 Accord – bought it myself, only a couple of thousand that I had stashed from throwing parties in college. I was determined to get a car by my senior year and I did. It had like 150K miles on it which to a Honda is like 20K miles. Power everything. I copped it in Pennsylvania and the first thing I did when I drove it to Brooklyn? I went right to Utica Ave and tinted my windows, got the crazy “chirp chirp” 5 siren alarm system and got the must have accessory. Nope. Not rims.

A benzi box.

Remember that? (no? Google it.)

If you had a car and you had one, you were hot shit. And if you had a pager and a bag phone, you were hott-er shit. I had a pager but no bag phone. Semi-hot. Maybe luke warm. Anyway, I got the car and flossed. Everywhere. In the Bronx with my boys. 3rd Ave. In Queens on Linden. And back home in Brooklyn – cruising through downtown, hoping to catch a shorty coming out of Dr. Jays or Juniors. Or even better, that summer, I went back to school early. Why? Freshman orientation!!!!! I stood in front of the car, all windows down, music playing with my boys in front of the student union. Yup. All game.

My mom schooled me. Always told me to keep your car clean both inside and out. That (amongst other things) impresses the ladies. My car never met a car wash or vacuum it didn’t like. Stayed clean with the yellow Vanillaroma trees hanging from the mirror.

The best part though was deciding which music I was going to keep in the car. You had to have something to blast and you had to have some smooth stuff in case you had to give a honey a ride. For the ladies, I had Jodeci and Intro ready at a moment’s notice. Had some Tribe, De La, Wu-Tang, mix tapes all in the whip as well but what’s funny is the first song I remember playing when I got the car and the Benzi……

C to the O to the O to the L to the I to the N to the F to the R to the O to the N to the T to the I to the N…

That means I’m chillin’