Too Much?

A friend of mine has been going off lately about men and hygiene. During one of her rants, she expressed her displeasure in men getting pedicures, manicures, massages and facials. Her claim is something along the lines of those services being for women, so men don’t need soft hands, feet, etc.
Her other claim is the overarching “these aren’t manly” types of services.

Full disclosure here: I’ve had them all. A manicure, pedicure, massage and facial. Usually when wifey and I go on vacation, we hit a spa, get massages and sip fruity drinks on the beach. It’s how we roll. In fact, I credit one of those vacation spa trips with giving me skin care tips. While I don’t get manicures and pedicures regularly, I get them. My reason – well for pedicures, I don’t want to have claws scratching wifey during grown up activities. For manicures, again, not regular but I have and do. What’s funny about manicures is that an older lady put me on to them. She was a partner in the consulting company I had just started working with and she was my transition mentor. I came from a company where I didn’t have to dress up to a spot where I was suit and tie or high business casual everyday. So she schooled me (along with ma dukes and other mentors) on corporate appearance and since I was a habitual nail biter, she recommended manicures.

So that’s my disclosure. It’s funny though, when I go, sometimes I go to the local spot wifey goes to and I’ll occasionally catch looks from women like “why the f-ck are you here?”. I found a spot that just for guys and that’s usually what I’ll opt for if I can.

So what do you think? Crossing the line? Too feminine? Can you tolerate?

Grow Up

Tami issued an apology.

I don’t watch Basketball Wives. I’m just not into it like that but I do catch glimpses of it here and there especially since wifey watches it every now and then. Yesterday the internet and radio was buzzing with talk from Monday night’s episode. So I pulled it up online and decided to see what was up.

That crap was ratchet. Hood. Embarrassing.

I get it. The show allows some people to channel their inner hoodrat behavior. It’s a guilty pleasure (hey I watch Maury – who’s your daddy and I used to occasionally watch Jerry Springer) but has it gone overboard?

Again, I don’t watch it but every time I come into the room when she’s watching it, I feel like I hear the same stuff over and over again. It starts with “I heard blah blah blah” and then someone else says “I don’t like that b**ch”

What is this?

You know the best part about last week’s show? The backlash.

Let’s be real. There would be no apology had the sponsors not pulled out. There would be no apology if people weren’t writing VH1. But when you mess with someone’s money, they feel different. Quick apologize before we lose more sponsors and viewership (which the show has been). Then all of a sudden people defer their behavior to the producers. While I’m sure some of that is true, you have to act a certain way for them to record it right?

You know the most disturbing part about that show? People sitting there watching it. (read:Shaunie)

You know what’s even more disturbing ? The fact that she has a foundation for young girls. The fact that she has daughters.

Grow up.

It’s More Than Money

Did anyone see this last week?

T.O and Dr. Phil? I know it’s old news.

The first time I watched it, I didn’t really pay any “real” attention to it. I mean, technically I was “working” so I couldn’t really concentrate. The second time, I watched and listened.

To be honest, I have mixed feelings but what it boils down to, on both sides is, it’s more than just money. Whether it was a tv thing or not, both sides brought up the payment of child support. The payment.


I hate  don’t like when people equate parenthood to money.  I realized that financial support is needed but it’s more than that. When my mom and dad got divorced, I just remember my mom literally laughing at what the court decided would be my child support check. But she didn’t trip. All she wanted was for him to spend time with me. Show me things that a man should teach his son and all the rest of that stuff. Not just send a check (or in my dad’s case have it deducted monthly). Pick up the phone. Call. Write. Communicate.

I think that’s what the gist of what T.O’s kid’s mothers were trying to say but there were times during the show when I felt that they were about the money. Like why does he have to pay for your flight for you to bring your child to see him? Why can’t you pay for it with the $20K a month you were getting? And even with his pay well documented, how come they denied him seeing his child when he reduced the payment? (from 20K to 15K) …..these things make me wonder. If I was him (or Diddy or anyone paying that much in child support), I’d ask for an itemized record of what exactly that money is used for.

But you know what would make everything easier? How about you just use protection? $10 is a lot cheaper than $20,000.



While I was organizing files on my computer yesterday, I found a set of documents I used to write a few years ago. They were sort of like my diary. Even though I was blogging, I felt that my blog got to the point where I couldn’t be as personal as I wanted so I started these “diaries” as a supplement. Sometimes I’d write in them daily. Sometimes a week would go by but there was always something in it.

Each doc covered a different time period in my life and as I read through them, I immediately went back to that time. One doc was from about 10 years ago. The other, more recent,  like 2-3 years ago. 

I think the thing that stood out the most after re-reading these was the tone of my writing. They were COMPLETELY different to the point where someone reading it might think it was two different people. As you can guess, I was just in a different place in life during each time so I’m sure I can chalk up some it to that but I know me and I’m having a hard time convincing myself of that. And as I sit here and type this blog post out, I’m now realizing one of the differences. 


In both “diaries”, I wrote out my goals. In the one from 10 years ago, well, I crushed all of those goals. In the one from 2-3 years ago, I only met a few and the difference between the two was the level of conviction I had. In the one from 10 years ago, my words and statements were strong. “I WILL….buy a house, pay off student loans, etc”. In the one from 2-3 years ago, my words and statements were soft. “I’D LIKE TO…..”

My “like” essentially a “lack” and I put no hard timelines on accomplishing them. Looking back through the rest of the entries, my mind was “weak”. I would push then stop. Push then stop and then never start back up again. I would get distracted and that was it. It was over. I was frustrated and I know for sure, I didn’t learn from the experience (because I still have a tendency to repeat some of those same actions!)

When my mind was strong, my convictions were strong. My confidence rode high. I’m sure I faced distractions but I dealt with them, head on, and got back on track. I was DISCIPLINED. I was FOCUSED. I nourished my spirit and in turn, it nourished me.

Let me tell you, looking back on myself through these “diaries” have been eye opening. It’s been like looking in a mirror only it took me back a few years. I’ve challenged myself to re-invest and rebuild myself (six million dollar man style – only the older heads will get that). 

At some point, you have to reflect. At some point, you’ve got to understand that where you are today is a direct result was decisions and actions you’ve taken in the past. BUT – you can’t let any of those get you down or in a rut. You’ve got to keep on keepin’ on.